LOST

Something in my life is missing and I cant figure out what it is.I have the wonderful hubby,the great kid,the pretty home...What am I missing here? Why does life seem to be such a pain,such a bore,such a waste of time.I should have no reason to complain but yet I do.

I want to ride my bike 5 miles a day,I wanna walk two miles a day,I wanna lift weights twice a day but to get motivated to even take a shower sometimes takes effort.I dont want to leave the house,I dont wanna get off the couch or get my nose out of a book.Theres life to live and things to do but I just feel so helpless sometimes.

I wanna live somewhere beautiful where just looking out the window makes you happy.Ive seemed to have lost my happiness and I dont know where to find it.

Changes

I've been reading alot this summer.I think I am on my 7th or 8th book so far since June.It keeps me occupied and keeps me in another world while still in my own so its peaceful.

Reece got new contact lenses and his haircut yesterday and I pick up his scedule tonight for school.It starts on Monday.Ive been staying up all night and sleeping all day and I need to get into a workout routine and normal sleeping pattern when school starts.

I dont work anymore and am gonna take a good time off to take care of me.Reece and Steve are my world and I dont leave the house much unless its to do something for them or do something with them.I like it here in my own little world of just us.One of the things I cherish is silence and thats easy for me to have here with a calm mellow family of just us.

I have been pondering having another baby cuz my baby is growing up so fast but Im 37 now and I have diabetes and thyroid disease and to be honest I dont even know if I can get pregnant anymore,not that Ive purposely tried.We havent tried since Reece was five.

Anyway just a thought.We are going to Chiacgo for Thanksgiving break and I am so excited! Ive never been to Chicago before.My must sees were always Pheonix,Chicago,Boston and LA and so far Pheonix is the only one Ive been to.In two years it will be my 20 yr wedding anniversary and we would like to leave the country for a vacation then.

Guess I will get off here.I need to clean the house today and read a little.